maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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