my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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