I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
