somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
