I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
