You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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