I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
