my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
