the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
