Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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