Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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