Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
