Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
