can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So squirting runs in the family.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize