It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
