You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.