I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
