Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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