I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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