i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
