Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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