Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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