I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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