So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she told me i tasted like america
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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