I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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