the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
