Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
