dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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