I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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