New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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