so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
