my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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