I feel great
I just peed on a car
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
