he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
