What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
