I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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