At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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