i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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