I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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