I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
