So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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