you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
