remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
