Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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