..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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