Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
