The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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