Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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