i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
