Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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