Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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