i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
