i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
