He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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