Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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