I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize