im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
is it fun? or sober?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
