I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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