Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
