Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
