I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
