I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
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He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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