My liver just broke up with me...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
